In Case I Forget...

Kiddos - My Love,

In case I forget...  Remind me who you are.  You, and your love for me make me everything that I am.

I'm scared...  I don't want to forget.  I don't want to be confused.  I don't want to scare you, or make you cry.  I don't mean to hurt you, or make you mad.  Please be patient with me.  It's me... I'm your dad.  I'm your husband... I gave you my all.  I don't mean to forget you.  Even if I don't know your name, or your face... My heart will always remember.

You all stood by my side as we moved across the state to be close to Papi & Grandma.  You witnessed Papi's Alzheimer's get worse and worse.  You all saw how Grandma hurts, and cries from the stress of trying to take care of Papi, while she is sick herself.  You saw the "crashes" from Diabetes.  You helped find Papi when he wandered off, and I was out of town for work.  I'm sorry if that scared you.  You all are so young to have seen so much.  Just remember that they love you, and in case I forget or I crash one day too.  Try to remember me for who I am now.

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Boy's, remember when you were tiny little guys?  You used to hang onto my arms at the same time, I would pick you both up... You thought I was the strongest dad in the world! (Papi used to do that to me & Tita).  Remember the day I taught you guys how to ride your bikes with no training wheels at Zilker park?  Remember going to the beach in October?  Remember when we started birding, and we went to go see the Whooping Cranes?  We've got so many more memories to make together boys.  You guys are getting so big so fast... I'm proud of you, remember what I told you... To grow up to be good men.  In case I forget...  Remind me about these times, and know that I'll never stop loving you.

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Ladybug, remember how you used to always want to go wherever your daddy went?  You are my little running buddy (that's what your grandma used to call me).  Remember how we used to make funny Dubsmash videos together?  Remember having tea parties?  Remember the story about the spider who see's a little girl and decides to go down his web to tickle her?  Remember how I would pick you up and dance with you at Central Market... In the living room... In the kitchen... wherever we heard a song we liked? :) Remember how I would always pull your hair when trying to untangle it?  I'm sorry - no matter how much I try, I can't do it like mommy does.  In case I forget...  Sing me the Lava song.  Know that you are a miracle to me.

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Euri, remember how you used to pee on my leg in the shower, and then say "Oh sawy dad" like if you didn't know that you were gonna do it?  Remember how we used to just order pizza and play video games all day together?  Remember the Dinosaur house?  Remember riding through the desert in my Bronco, and holding onto the "oh shit bar"?  Remember how you came to live with me when you graduated from High School?  You always made me feel so good, and so proud to call you my son.  Starting with you, I became Daddy.  In case I forget...  Be patient with me... Love me like you did then. 

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My Love, remember how we met?  No... I saw you first.  Nothing was going to stop me from meeting you that night.  You are my best friend.  You and I were made for one another.  Remember how you were pacing all around the house before Isaiah was born?  The moon the morning Caleb was born?  The dust storm the day we took Leah home from the hospital?  Remember all of the things we did together, the places we went?  Remember the decisions we made to make sure that our kids have a great life?  Remember how we felt when we knew Isaiah would need to have heart surgery?  After we got through that we decided that the only thing that mattered was making great memories for our kids.  In case I forget... Remember that I was there with you, remind me why you care, and why I should too.  

Let's keep making memories together.  Let's experience all we can.  Let's live our lives together as if we might forget.

I can hope that I never get Alzheimer's like Papi... and my Grandma Euri... But...

In case I forget...  Show me this.

I know it will make you sad, and frustrated.  You don’t owe me anything.  You’ve given me so much already.   You all gave me purpose, strength, and love.

Take care of yourselves...  Love each other! 

I know that you love me... But... In case I forget... 

Let me know...  

In case I forget to tell you...

I love you!